Changes

So I went to go play poker yesterday for the first time in about two months. I haven’t really been avoiding the game I just haven’t had any money lately. Or was I?

I sat down and lost on the first hand with 10’s to Kings. Oh well. I busted out in about 40 minutes because I was just throwing my chips around for fun. After I was done, I could have sat around and waited for the next game to start but I left. Usually I stay all day and night at this game and have a great time but it just wasn’t the same yesterday. Perhaps it was the smell of the bar. Everything seemed the same; same conversations, same people, same game, same stupid fucking Cubs bar.

Maybe I don’t want to play poker anymore.

…

I’m reading the Screwtape Letters again after a 12 year hiatus. I never got into it the first time but I’m loving it right now. Best quote thus far: “It seems in my life I did neither what I ought nor what I liked.” -A newly arrived soul in hell.

hmmmmmm.

very hmm.