Dick Cheney is reportedly getting a huge book deal for his memoirs through Simon & Schuster.
So HARD... trying... to look..... human!
So, let me get this straight. All I have to do in order to get a multi-million dollar book deal with a big publishing house is invade a sovereign nation, jerk off on the constitution, shoot my buddy in the face, tell a senator to go fuck himself, and then claim executive privilege when somebody cries foul? Where do I sign up?
Predictably, the masses are not happy about this news. Here are a few of the gems from the comments section at CNN:
“I would not and will not spend one cent for his bunch of lies” -Carl Justus
“Ah, his new career as a fiction writer!!” -Gizzi 1213
“This book is not worth the trees used to make it!! Toilet paper has a better use of trees than this book. Cheney will go down in history as a war criminal no matter what he writes or thinks.” -Brett
Ok, so I’m an under-employed writer to begin with, so this was going to rub me the wrong way no matter what. But what’s really upsetting is the fact that the editor-in-chief (Mary Matalin) used to work as a Cheney aide.
Does the mind not rebel upon hearing that? Did nobody who brought this deal together think that this might represent a conflict of interest, given that the book is going to be a non-fiction manuscript?
Thank you, big New York publishing, for proving yet again that one can get away with anything if you wear a really nice suit.
Dick’s dyke daughter says that her father wants to set the record straight for his grandchildren: “”He wants to make sure that his story is told, and told in a way that his grandchildren will be able to understand and appreciate even 20 or 30 years from now,” which is ironic because his grandchildren will already be benefiting from all the great work Cheney has done for the last 8 years.
Because in 2039, chances are we’re still going to have at least 50 thousand troops stationed in Iraq, just as Cheney intended. People who have complained about a lack of an exit strategy need to tuck their naivete back in: there never WAS an exit strategy. We will be paying to occupy Iraq until the end of time.
In 2039, we will be facing an enormous refugee crisis due to the catastrophic effects of climate change. Poor third world nations near the equator will all experience a dramatic exodus. Where do you think all those millions of penniless citizens are going to want to go? No number border fences or chants about buying American are going to keep them out. We can thank Cheney and company for setting back the environmental movement for 10 years by rejecting the Kyoto protocol.
If we’re lucky enough to still be a functioning state in 2039, Cheney’s influence will be felt in the Oval Office. There have been egregious abuses of the executive branch’s power before, but Bush and Cheney broke into a whole new ballgame: they set the standard for future Presidents, who will not hesitate to trample on civil liberties regardless of their party affiliation.
If Ms. Cheney ever wants to be married, she certainly will not be able to thank her father for helping make that a reality one day.
So, I hate to brake it to you, Liz, but there’s really no need for your dear old dad to write a memoir to set the record straight. History will judge him by his actions, not his words. And I guarantee you that the account of his years haunting the White House will not be a generous one.
June 24, 2009 at 2:44 pm
But what’s really upsetting is the fact that the editor-in-chief (Mary Matalin) used to work as a Cheney aide…Did nobody who brought this deal together think that this might represent a conflict of interest.” -Tim
Conflict of interest? You mean like having the State Attorney General in charge of overseeing the fairness of Presidential elections also serving as the Campaign co-chair for the Bush-Cheney ticket?
“Conflict of interest” is for wussie liberal crybabies who want to “play fair” and are interested in the “public good”. We’re talking about Dick Cheney here!
“Dick’s dyke daughter says that her father wants to set the record straight for his grandchildren: ”He wants to make sure that his story is told, and told in a way that his grandchildren will be able to understand and appreciate even 20 or 30 years from now,”” – Tim
I’m becoming more and more resigned to the notion that Dick Cheney himself will, unfortunately, still be alive 20-30 years from now and will be able to be wheeled onto any network news program anytime he wants and say whatever steaming load of bullshit he wants to serve up and it will go completely unchallenged.
“If we’re lucky enough to still be a functioning state in 2039, Cheney’s influence will be felt in the Oval Office. – Tim
That implies you have a functioning state now.